The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

jay_leno_jimmy_fallon_a_l

Just in case anyone missed the final episode of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on Friday, here’s a link that takes a look at some funny moments throughout the show’s history and Jimmy’s final moments. Caution, it’s all adorable and you shouldn’t watch it if you aren’t in the mood to smile real big.

I can’t be the only one that smiles every time Jimmy Fallon does pretty much anything. Also, nestled in there you’ll find a very touching moment from Jay Leno’s send-off.

Anywho, in the fun cycle that is late night television, things went down like this on Friday. Jay Leno said goodbye after 22 years on The Tonight Show. It was emotional and, I’ll admit, it will be a little weird not seeing him on the television anymore. He’s been a staple for as long as I can remember. Anywho, Jimmy Fallon also had a sweet close to his run on Late Night and will be taking Jay’s spot on Monday, the 17th. Be sure to watch! Oh, and then we can’t forget that Seth Myers left SNL (which was emotional for both me and Cecily Strong), and will be taking Fallon’s spot on Monday, February 24th. Got it?

Basically this is Disney’s The Lion King of late night television.

The circle of life, you guys.

-A.

[via USA TODAY]

Product Review And Giveaway: Dr. Beasley’s Glass Serum

Hey guys! Have you missed us? (You don’t have to answer, we know you did.) Apologies for the lack of posting this week. Adrian and I have been super busy. And super sick. And we don’t answer to you. You’re not our real mom!

Sorry.

So one of the things we’re working on for the site is a new feature involving the giveaways we do. We thought it would be cool to start reviewing products and giving away ones that get our [highly coveted] seal of approval.

We have several awesome companies we plan on getting in touch with, so you can expect lots of awesome giveaways in your future.

We’re kicking things off with a company that approached us about doing a review – Dr. Beasley’s. (A car detailing company that claims to be “your detailing prescription.”) They reached out to us asking if we would be willing to do a review of their product and they would give us some neat things to giveaway. We said yes, because we knew this was a feature we wanted to start incorporating on the site. (Note: We are not being paid for this review.)

We made it clear up front that we would be doing the review with our own brand of quirky humor, and that we would have to be 100% honest.

They said yes, of course we want you to be honest and we love your humor. (Obviously we love anyone who thinks we’re funny, but I promise not to let that color my review!)

About The Company

Here’s a little info about the company, Dr. Beasley’s, from their website:

Our #1 priority is ensuring that your car is as cosmetically healthy as possible. We think of your car as our patient, and our experience has allowed us to translate what cars need into our detailing product line so that you spend less time in the garage and more time in your car.

Our love for cars has positioned us to craft car care products that reflect everything we love so much about them; beautiful designs, intricate components, and of course that feeling us car lovers get behind the wheel. Our products reflect our devotion to our four wheeled friends, and we know you’ll agree.

What appeals to me about this company? First, as someone who recently bought a new car, I’m very interested in ways to keep my new baby in good condition.

Second, they are environmentally friendly – and that seems to be a priority for them.

And third, the company is named after the family dog.

Product Review

Dr. Beasley’s sent me a sample of their Glass Serum.

glasscleaner1

They also sent some glass. Handy!

glassbefore

Wonder Woman cameo

The glass had a sticker wrapped around the middle, so I could peel that off and then use the serum to clean the residue.

glassslightlydirty

I just didn’t think that was dirty enough for a test though, so my 2 year old and I went to work on it until it was DIRTY.

glassreallydirty

Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. I sprayed the serum onto the glass and let it sit for a couple minutes.

glasssprayingAnd then I wiped it.

glassclean

And an extra picture to show you how clean it got:

glassclean2

Obviously the product works. And it works well. Dr. Beasley’s glass serum gets the Two Random Girls [Highly Coveted] Seal of Approval.

It’s easy to use, it works, and the company seems to really care about its customers. And bonus, it’s not just for cars. I plan on trying it on our glass dining room table and our windows.

Good work, Dr. Beasley’s! Now onto the giveaway!

*******Giveaway*******

To enter the giveaway, comment below and tell us what you would use the product on, and next Friday, February 14th (how romantic!) at 8pm EST we’ll pick a random winner.

Our #1 priority is ensuring that your car is as cosmetically healthy as possible. We think of your car as our patient, and our experience has allowed us to translate what cars need into our detailing product line so that you spend less time in the garage and more time in your car. – See more at: http://www.drbeasleys.com/about-us/#sthash.VsC79NW4.dpuf
Our #1 priority is ensuring that your car is as cosmetically healthy as possible. We think of your car as our patient, and our experience has allowed us to translate what cars need into our detailing product line so that you spend less time in the garage and more time in your car. – See more at: http://www.drbeasleys.com/about-us/#sthash.VsC79NW4.dpuf

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Golden Globes, Trifecta!

Word is Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (our best friends that don’t know they are our best friends yet because they haven’t returned our calls but totally will eventually) will be hosting the Golden Globes for a third time in 2015!

Normally I would say, “Ok, maybe give someone else a shot.” But in this case, I do not care. I want them to host EVERYTHING and host it FOREVER. They are hilarious and confident and will without a doubt, charm the pants off of everyone again come next January.

My only major concern is who is going to break the news to Taylor Swift?

giphy

-A.

[via USA Today]

And The Mommy Wars Winner Is…

time

If you’re a parent, or you know a parent, or you live on the earth, you’ve probably heard about the so-called Mommy Wars. What I’m going to do for you guys is break down the most common battles and finally give you a definitive winner.

Let’s get to it, shall we? First up…

Unmedicated Birth vs. Medicated Birth

(Or whatever the terms people are using now. When I was pregnant three years ago, that’s what they were.) Let’s break this down a little. Is it important that people have the proper knowledge to make informed decisions? Yes. Is that always the case? No. But don’t assume someone who chooses to have a medicated birth is uninformed. Don’t assume anyone who chooses to have a scheduled c-section is a moron. And don’t assume someone who chooses to have an unmedicated birth is delusional and will change her mind. Having a giant needle stuck in your spine so you don’t feel the pain of giving birth doesn’t make you a genius. And choosing to feel every contraction and tear doesn’t make you a goddess. At the end of the day, you’re all bleeding and in pain.

Winner: No winners here. Just get the freaking kid out.

Formula Feeding vs. Breastfeeding

We know breast is best. We get it. But formula isn’t poison, so stfu. I took a birthing class when I was pregnant, and a lactation specialist gave us the breast is best talk. She compared formula feeding to “giving your kids a box of cookies for dinner because they had a tantrum”… ORLY? Yeah. That’s the same. Should we judge someone breastfeeding in public? Absolutely not. Should we judge someone who chooses to formula feed their new baby? Nope. The end.

Winner: Neither. Who cares? Feed your kid.

Stay-At-Home-Mom vs. Working Mom

(I’m not mentioning stay-at-home dads here, because normally when these topics are discussed the focus is on women and the countless ways they are fucking up.) Some moms choose to stay home after they have a kid. Some don’t really have a choice, but they do it because it makes the most financial sense for their families. Some moms choose to go back to work. Some moms don’t have a choice.

Do stay-at-home moms work hard? Some do, some probably don’t. Do working moms work hard? Some do, some probably don’t. As for who has it harder, there’s no real way to prove that is there? And when you get right down to it, who cares? In a lot of ways, it sucks to be a stay-at-home mom. It really does. I get that – trust me. But it also sucks in a lot of ways to be a working mom. Do we really need to make graphs and charts “proving” our worth as mothers? Do we really need to tear the other group down to make ourselves feel better?

Winner: Nobody. Being a stay-at-home parent is hard. Being a working parent is hard.

Guys, there are no winners in the “Mommy Wars”. Instead of supporting each other, we’re tearing each other down. We’re trying to “educate” other moms under the guise of helping them, when really all we’re doing is being sanctimonious twat waffles.

Stop being twat waffles.

-N.

 

 

Surgery Leaves Opera Singer a Farty Mess

You. Guys.

A woman is suing the government over a surgical procedure performed during childbirth that left her unable to work without farting. That may not seem like that big of a deal, except she is an opera singer and her flatulence is really causing some problems.

Amy Herbst claims that an episiotomy was performed during labor without her permission and is now threatening to end her career.

Normally I think farting is hilarious. But this sucks.

And I can totally see her point because, even though I’ve never been, I know the opera is way classier than this sort of thing.

PF09Fnb

Poor gal. I sincerely hope there is some way to make this right.

-A.

[via Huffington Post]

 

Car Buying Tips

carsale

I have never in my life had a new car. I bought my first car as a poor high school student working at Subway for $6.25 an hour (AFTER a raise). It was a 1998 Chevy Malibu. Metallic green. “I eat poop” in the rear window courtesy of my dear friend, Adrian.

I loved that car.

Since then, I’ve inherited a Sunfire (from my husband, who was not my husband at the time), an old Buick (from my mom), and – my current vehicle – a 2003 Pontiac Vibe (from my in-laws).

But my husband and I just bought (well, leased) our first NEW vehicle together from a dealer. And I have learned a lot during this process, and I thought I should pass on to you guys because it can end up saving you a lot of money.

Ferreal.

Here’s our story, plus some tricks and tips we learned along the way. (What can I say? I’m a giver.)

So we started the process by surfing around Kelley Blue Book  which is a fantastic research tool. We kind of got an idea of what we were looking for, what we could afford, and what was available in our area.

My husband, Rob, also listened to this episode of  This American Life. (LISTEN TO THIS BEFORE YOU GO.)

I was really interested in the Chevy Equinox and the Honda CRV. But I was leaning toward the Chevy because my mom works for GM, and we could use her GM discount.

I found a couple new ones (without any bells and whistles) for about $22,000. And figured with our trade in (the Vibe), our payments would be around $300 a month. (Plus we’d have to come up with some money down.) We were also open to looking at older vehicles.

Then we went to the dealership.

Before we go in, Rob tells me:

These guys need our sale more than we need their car. It’s about volume of sales for them, not how big the sale is. And for them, once they have us on the lot, they cannot let us leave.

And you guys he was so, so right.

We go in and are immediately greeted by Salesman Steve (obviously an alias I gave him). He’s a super nice guy, seems really genuine and like he wants to help us.

We give him an idea of what we’re looking at and he says, “okay, for that vehicle, just so you know, you’re looking at payments probably close to the $450 range. What do you think, ballpark, you’d like to spend on payments?”

And Rob says, completely straight faced, “honestly, I don’t want to spend more than $200 a month.”

AND SALESMAN STEVE LAUGHS. He looks at me like, is this guy serious? And asks me, “okay, realistically, what can you guys spend on this?”

And guys keep in mind at this point I am really wanting that Equinox. So I say, “we can probably handle $300.” (Because I did my research and I knew what a sort of appropriate number would be.) Which, honestly, I don’t know wtf I was thinking because that’s a huge fucking payment. But whatever. And we talk about the money down. We them him we are trading in the Vibe, he says great, but to get our payments where we want them we’ll need to come up with a few thousand down.

I tell him no problem. (Again, I don’t know wtf. I guess I lost my mind during the sales pitch. THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU.)

Salesman Steve walks away to “see what he can do” and Rob looks at me like I’m fucking crazy. Which clearly I am. And meanwhile I think HE’S being crazy because these guys aren’t going to take us seriously if we say silly things like “keep it under $200 a month”.

Salesman Steve comes back and, while they’re working on some figures, asks if we want to test drive the 2014 Equinox. A $27,700 vehicle. I’m like HELL YEAH.

And then I got hooked even more. And lost my mind even more. Because you guys, that ride was sweeeeeeeet. (Remember, I’ve NEVER owned a new car.) So I dug in. And I told Rob I would divorce him if we didn’t get this car.

I can be a little dramatic.

We go back in, and Rob is standing pretty firm with Salesman Steve, telling him we need to think about it. Salesman Steve asks me privately if I think there’s any chance we will close this deal tonight. I say no way, have you met my husband?

Salesman Steve then suggests to us that we may want to look into leasing. We could get a better price, and it might work better for our lifestyle.

I love the idea of leasing, because never owning an old car again sounds amazing. Salesman Steve says he can get us a lease for 3something a month. Rob is not pleased. Salesman Steve asks what the number would have to be for us to take the deal TODAY. And Rob says, “honestly, it would have to at least be in the 200s.”

So Salesman Steve leaves us again, and comes back with an offer. The paper has LAST DEAL OF THE DAY in big red letters, underlined three times. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

The deal is $289/mo, with only $1,000 down.

Now remember, LAST DEAL OF THE DAY.

Salesman Steve leaves us to discuss things. I turn to Rob like, heeeeeey this is an awesome deal. LET’S TAKE IT!!!!!!!!

And Rob’s like, ehhhh. And at this point I want to punch him in the fucking head.

But he tells Salesman Steve that it’s a nice offer, and we’ll definitely consider it, but that $1,000 has to come from somewhere. And Salesman Steve immediately says brb. And off he goes.

He comes back and oh, what do you know, they can give it to us for NO money down. (What happened to “last deal of the day” STEVE?)

And Rob still says we need to think about it. Do some comparison shopping. And I know he’s right. I hate it, but I know it. So Salesman Steve (and the sales manager who has now joined us to help close the deal) tells us this deal is only good until Thursday. And then they very reluctantly let us go. (After lots of “how can we get you to take this deal?”)

We both think this is a great offer at this point, and are pretty comfortable taking it. We also realize Thursday is the last day of the month, and they are really hungry for this sale by the end of the month to help meet their quota.

At this point I don’t want to talk to any more salesman, this process has exhausted me. I guess I’m super gullible, but I BELIEVED those guys when they were telling me, “oh we absolutely can’t go below this” and then…they went lower.

So I tell Rob if he wants to do some price shopping he can. But I want to take this deal by Wednesday. (If he can’t get anything better.)

Monday (today) Rob called another Chevy dealership to see if they could give us a better offer.

After some back and forth, they offer it to give it to us for $195/month.

One. Ninety. Five.

So we obviously said HELL YES. And went in tonight to sign the papers and drive our new baby home. When it was all said and done, the trade in on our car was a little less than they thought ($2000 instead of $2500) and we got it for $207  a month.

Absorb that for a minute. This is the same vehicle that got a chuckle for any payment less than $400.

My husband, who did a little research into the car selling world and had a solid understanding of how they work, was able to get them to give it to us for $207 a month, with no money down.

So when you go in to buy (or lease!) your new car, if you can’t take Rob with you, remember these things:

  • They need you more than you need them. You have to always be willing to walk away. (In fact, after you think they’ve gone as low as they can, tell them you will think about it and do some comparison shopping. Take that offer to other dealerships and see what they can do for you.)
  • Communicating by email might be a good way for you to go too – Rob did that with the comparison shopping. That way you don’t have to talk to anyone in person/get sucked into a sales pitch. It’s less personal.
  • They can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go lower.
  • The best time to go is the very end of the month because they need to make their quotas and will be more flexible with you if they think they can make a sale.
  • Have an amount you want to pay per month, and stick to your guns.

You can do it!! Go forth and buy! Now excuse me, I have to go cruise around in my brand spanking new Equinox.

2014equinox

My babyyyyyyy

-N.

[image via Flickr]

Winter Money Saving Tips

It is currently 9° here in southeast Michigan with a windchill of -11° and I am freezing my ass off.

I live in a fairly old home with newer windows, but it is still a huge task to keep the house warm enough without spending a fortune on heating costs. Last month our heating costs tripled and I almost cried. When you don’t have a ton of money to toss around a high utility bill can really put a kink in things. If anyone else has been struggling to keep their bits thawed while not spending a quarter of their paycheck, I’ve put together this list of quick tips that I totally forgot to follow this year follow every single year!

1. Turn down the thermostat.

I know, I know. This one seems like a no-brainer, but it’s something that I just forget sometimes. On those really cold days, it’s better to keep the temp low and do other things to keep warm. You can also purchase one of those really awesome programmable thermostats if you have the extra cash. I hear those are great.

2. Turn down the water heater.

I honestly never thought about this one until I heard it recently. Your water heater is working extra hard to keep that water hot, so give it a little bit of a break until temps warm back up. Or, keep it lower for a long-term money saver.

3. Use curtains or blinds.

Again, this one seems really simple, but battling the winter blues makes you want to open those bad boys up and let that teeny bit of light in to cheer you up. If you can do without the natural light, keep em’ closed on the coldest days. It helps seal a little bit more of that cold air out. I practically live in the dark in the winter, which is probably the main reason that I am a total beast by the time February rolls around.

4. Manage your fireplace

There are actually a few different ways to keep your fireplace from costing you. 1. Use it. If you have a wood burning fire place, by all means. If you have a place to get cheap wood, it’s a great way to keep warm. 2. Make sure the damper is closed when not in use. This is actually a big one. You let a lot of warm air out and cold draft in when it’s open. 3. If you’re not using it, seal it off. My sister and her husband actually purchase window plastic and cover the fireplace, then carefully cut the edges so you hardly know it’s there.

5. Close the vents in the rooms you don’t use often.

If you’re not using a space, there is no reason to keep it heated. Worry about the rooms where you spend the majority of your time.

6. Seal off drafts

If you can purchase some window plastic or door seal strips, they are a quick fix that really helps. The only problem is the windows can’t be accessed, and using the door too often can loosen the strips. For a door that isn’t used often, they’re great.

7. Space heaters (Used with extreme caution)

Space heaters can be a quick way to heat up a small area. We use one in our living room and keep the temp of the rest of the house very low. The only problem is they aren’t the safest choice. You have to handle them with caution and be sure that they are off when you aren’t in the room.

8. Do things to keep warm.

Some examples include:

-Put on some extra layers

-Exercise (yoga, pilates, step aerobics, sex)

-Put some extra blankets on the couch for lounging

Do you guys have any awesome money saving tips for the winter months? Share them!

-A.

[via my mom over the last 27 years]

 

HBO Drops Family Tree

I sometimes get really bummed out when t.v. shows I really love don’t make it more than one season. Then I quickly recover, realizing that the number of episodes has little to do with the quality of the show. For example, Two and A Half Men is on season 215 and episode 7,652, and in my opinion is one giant cat turd.

In honor of one of my favorite shows of 2013, Family Tree, being cancelled, I thought I would share some of my favorites that never made it to season 2.

Family Tree

If you haven’t watched this HBO series, I’d highly suggest it. It has the adorable Chris O’Dowd, which is pretty much all I needed to know, and his sister’s insanely inappropriate talking puppet. It’s a jumbled mess of hilarious/awkwardness that I couldn’t get enough of.

Freaks and Geeks

I’m a little bitter that this show didn’t get a second season. The final episode is one of the best I have ever seen. The only consolation here is that almost every major cast member went on to have a pretty awesome career.

My So-Called Life

Jordan Catalano.

41541066

That is all.

Undeclared

Another insanely good show. I guess I’m really in to shows that highlight what it’s like to be an awkward teenager just trying to figure it all out. Not sure where the connection is there. Anywho, just another show that produced some of today’s biggest stars and captured my heart then crushed it by not getting a second season.

Do you guys have any awesome shows that you really loved that didn’t get a second shot?

Share them!

Then go watch these shows because they are awesome.

-A.

[via USA Today]

The American Dream Not Reality For Many People

“The American Dream” – getting married, having kids, owning your own home. The trifecta.

I’m going to break down each of those…fectas…one by one, and tell you why, to some people, they might actually suck.

Let’s start with getting married.

wedding

Now, full disclosure, I am happily married. (I also have a kid and I own a home, but we’ll get to that later.) I know a lot of people who are also happily married. I know some people who are unhappily married as well. And I know some people who never, ever want to get married. And that’s okay.

Because you can have a loving, committed relationship with someone without “making things legal” and signing some papers. (Please don’t use this as an argument against gay marriage. Because being legally married has many perks, and anyone who wants to have that right should have it. It’s not your place, or mine, to deny someone that. What I’m saying here is that not everyone feels they need it.)

What happens when we, as a society, push people to get married? People end up unhappily married, stuck together because of “duty” or religion, or divorced.

Marriage is NOT for everyone. Stop pushing people into doing things that YOU perceive as “the next step” or the only way to be happy.

Next up, having kids.

duggars

“So, you guys have been married for five minutes…when are you going to have a baaaaaby?” “Kid number one is already three years old…better get started on number two!” “If you don’t have a kid now, you WILL regret it.” “You’re going to be too old to have a baby soon…”

These are things people say to friends, neighbors, family members, strangers in the grocery store, every day. All the time. Nonstop. If you’re a woman (or a couple) of child bearing age, they are coming for you.

But here’s the thing, not everyone wants kids. And that’s okay. Because you know what? Pregnancy and child birth are fucking hard. Sure, some people sail through both with no problem whatsoever, but a lot of people don’t. For those people, being pregnant suuuuuuuucks. You’re sick, you’re miserable, your hormones are out of control, you can get put on bed-rest, you can get diabetes, you have to get a thousand shots and tests for things, there are a million and one things that can go wrong for you or your baby…it’s horrible for those people.

Pregnancy is not always “the most magical time in a woman’s life” and child birth is certainly not rainbows and butterflies shooting out your ass.

Childbirth can kill you. You can die because of pregnancy or childbirth. At the very least it’s some kind of terrible scene from a horror movie with buckets of blood and your taint being ripped in half.

And, shockingly, not everyone wants to go through that.

There are also people who just DON’T WANT KIDS. The pregnancy and birth stuff doesn’t bother them, but they just really do not want to have a child. Nothing is wrong with those people. They are just different from you. Stop bringing up babies every time you see them, and telling them you hope they change their mind before it’s too late.

There are also people who can’t get pregnant, or can’t have children, or who go through the heartbreaking event of losing a child, and your “well meaning” comments about their family planning can be very hurtful. Good rule of thumb? Mind your beeswax.

And finally, owning a home.

home

Living in Chicago, I spent most of my late teens and early twenties renting various apartments. Then my husband got a job in the suburbs, and his commute was way too long. So we decided to move. Our plan was to continue renting out there, but we thought we would look at homes and just see what was available.

Well, we found an adorable little house in an AMAZING area and it was a freaking steal. So we bought it. It had been on the market I think three weeks by the time we signed the papers.

Here is what we have learned about ourselves in the two years of owning this (older) home: We are terrible home owners. We hate fixing things, we are not handy, and we absolutely suck at yard work. We miss renting.

Home ownership is not for everybody.

Some people will never own their own home, and that’s okay. They are perfectly happy with their life of renting. They don’t need your approval, but it would probably be less annoying if you stopped questioning when they will be “settling down” “putting down roots” or “getting a place of their own”.

The takeaway here? Not every one is interested in your version of The American Dream. They are living their own version. And that’s okay.

-N.

[image via flickr] [image via flickr]

Brother Stabs Brother Multiple Times Over…Pepsi

Remember that guy who pulled a knife on his brother because he didn’t like how many PB&J sandwiches he was eating?

Well, this is like that but even more fucked up.

Apparently these two loving brothers – and their mother – were watching the NFC Championship Game when one brother, we’ll call him Nutjob, got up to get a Pepsi – specifically THE LAST Pepsi. His brother, we’ll call him Poor Bastard, asked him not to take the last one.

Nutjob told him to fuck off, and then completely lost his mind. He then hit Poor Bastard in the head with a pipe. And then stabbed him a bunch of times.

Presumably the mom was still valiantly cheering on the Niners during this whole thing.

I can’t imagine anyone getting that worked up over a Pepsi – or as I call it “crap in a can”.  Now, if someone drank my last Dr Pepper…different story. Don’t touch my Dr Pepper, man.

FYI, Poor Bastard is going to be okay, and did not want to press charges. Nutjob is still missing.

-N.

[via nj.com]