I hope everyone is keeping warm during this crazy cold that’s sweeping through, destroying my will to live. I’ve been cooped up with a two year old, and will remain cooped up for at least two more days.
I know I don’t have to tell you guys how boring that is.
And I thought maybe some of you might be bored too, so I thought we could all play a little game to keep us entertained/keep our minds off the fact that we can get frostbite just stepping outside right now.
The game is called HUMP MARRY KILL. (Note: It’s actually called “fuck, marry, kill” but…I thought more of you might play if I edited it for you. YOU’RE WELCOME.)
I’m sure you’ve all played this game before, but in case you missed junior high here are the rules: I will list three people and you pick which one you would hump, which one you would marry, and which one you would kill. You have to assign each person an action. (No passing. Passing is for wimps.)
I’ll tell you my choices (obviously, like I would pass up an opportunity to give my opinion on something) and you guys leave your answers in the comments. Got it?
As a fun twist, this is going to be HUMP, MARRY, KILL 90′s MOVIE EDITION.
Awwww yeeeeeaaaaah. I know you’re excited now! Let’s get started, shall we?
1. CLUELESS – Cher, Dionne, Amber
Correct Answer: Hump Cher (she’ll bake you cookies!), Marry Dionne (she’s smart, sassy, and can commit), and Kill Amber (OBVIOUSLY)
2. WAYNE’S WORLD – Wayne, Garth, Benjamin
Correct answer: Hump Benjamin (Guys, I know he’s a dick. But look at that face!), Marry Garth, Kill Wayne (I’M SORRY. Sometimes in life you have to make tough choices.)
3. CAN’T HARDLY WAIT -Preston, Amanda, Mike
Correct answer: Ugggh, Hump Mike (but I would hate myself the entire time), Marry Amanda (because she seems the sanest, honestly), and Kill Preston (because wtf creepy stalker guy)
4. JURASSIC PARK – John Hammond, Ian Malcolm, Dr. Grant
Correct Answer: This one is really, really easy. Hump Ian, Marry Dr. Grant, and Kill John. If you have another answer for this, be prepared to defend it.
5. HOCUS POCUS – Winifred Sanderson, Mary Sanderson, Sarah Sanderson
Correct answer: Hump Sarah (I wouldn’t want to marry her, and she’s too silly to kill – plus she’d probably show me a good time), Marry Mary (she’d be the most fun), Kill Winifred (she’d be pissed and probably curse me though)
6. ENCINO MAN – Dave, Stoney, Link
Correct answer: Hump Link (oh, like you wouldn’t), Marry Stoney (duh), Kill Dave (Dave is an annoying douche)
7. SANDLOT – Smalls, Benny, Squints
Correct answer: Hump (OBVIOUSLY AFTER HE’S AGED SEVERAL YEARS) Benny, Marry Squints (he’s good enough for Wendy Peffercorn, he’s good enough for me), Kill Smalls (sorry Smalls)
8. Armageddon – Harry, A.J., Grace
Correct answer: Hump A.J. (because he’s hot and I’m shallow), Marry Harry (Guys, I’m never NOT going to marry Bruce Willis if that’s an option), Kill Grace (I wouldn’t even feel that bad about it)
9. Dumb And Dumber – Harry, Lloyd, Mary
Correct answer: Guys this one is TOUGH. But I think I’d have to say…Hump Harry, Marry Mary, Kill Lloyd. I mean, they’re both dumb, but Lloyd is dumb dumb. I would neither want to hump him, nor marry him. He’s out.
10. Toy Story – Buzz, Woody, Mr. Potato Head
Correct answer: Hump Buzz, Marry Woody, Kill Potato Head. Obviously.
creepy and weird fun? You’re welcome.
Comment with your answers, or if you have any choices of your own! You don’t have to stick with the 90′s movie edition – I just thought that would be fun.
AND I WAS RIGHT.